Why I’ll Never Go Sharking Again

Have you ever heard of "Sharking?" Until recently, I never had either, not until my roommate Jason told me about it. Jason and I go to the University of Maryland together, and share an off campus apartment about 15 minutes off campus.

A typical Saturday for us is sitting around drinking, maybe having a few friends over, but this day was unusually slow, unusually slow until Jason turned to me, drunk as hell and said, "Marcus, let's go sharking."

"What the fuck is sharking?" I said, confused.

Jason replied, "It's when you run down on girls and either pull either their pants or tops down."

I burst out laughing at the thought off running around, exposing girls, but when I saw Jason was serious, I simply told him "You've been drinking too much, or you want to get kicked out of school."

Jason finished his beer, got up to get another one, and turned to me saying "obviously we can't do it on campus, someone will recognize us and we'll get caught, but if we drive into the city, we can easily get a few girls before the cops catch us."

I figured this was just some crazy thing white guys did when they drank too much, but after a few drinks, the idea started to sound more and more fun. So since Jason obviously had given this some thought, I turned and asked him, "How do we plan on doing this?"

Jason thought for a moment, and then said, "We drive to DC. There, no one would recognize us and I can't imagine some girl chasing us down with her pants around her ankles."

Just thinking of that image made me burst into laughter out loud. So I turned to Jason and asked, "Have you ever done this before?"

Jason replied, "No, but I've seen videos of it on the internet, one of us should sit in the car, in case we need to make a quick run. The other wears a hoodie, and some shades and just pulls and runs."

I cut Jason off to ask, "How far would I run?"

He told me, "Maybe a block or two, turn a corner, and then I pick you up, after that we go a few miles further away, then we can do it again, that way if anyone calls the police, we're long gone."