The very next day my safe feeling vanished when I ran into Butch, the bully, in the hallway on my floor. He was angrier than I had ever seen, and the look in his eyes brought me deep fear. “Hey sissy boy, I been looking for you.” He grabbed my arm and put his face inches from mine. “I know that was you, you little freak. You think you so smart, don’t you?”
What are you talking about I said trying to hide my fear and wondering how bad my beating would be. I didn’t have to wonder for long. “I know that was you the other day on the street.” He looked me up and down. “All dressed up and made up like a little girl. You didn’t fool me though. I saw that little hook scar on the back of your arm. I saw it when you got in the cab after you gave me that phony phone number.”
I trembled, nearly in shock and scared witless. I was baffled. He remembered something that I had forgotten and had put it together. I had never thought he even noticed me that much, but apparently, he was paying attention to my body. He gripped my wrists tighter and pull me to him. His eyes bore through me and I was scared and excited. “Think you something don’t you?”
A whole slew of butterflies sent signals of nausea to my stomach. My nerves became very raw and my head emitted intense temperatures. My heart was going like a constant drum roll, which was scarier. I knew he was going to beat my ass for sure now. I just knew it and I braced myself, but the rage never came from him. He released my wrists slowly, still looking deep into my eyes. He didn’t have this look on his face like he wanted to kill me anymore.
At first, I thought he felt pity, but I sensed that wasn’t on his mind. Being the romantic that I am, I wanted to think that he realized for the first time that I was so convincing as a female that he was turned on. I wanted to think that he loved the woman he saw me become, and no longer hated the sissy he saw. I wanted to think that was true because from that day, he never punched me, took my money, or spit on me again. At the time I had no idea that my fantasies about Butch were not that far from the truth.
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